Silicon Valley loves "Radical Candor." The book is a bestseller. The concept is sound. It argues that you must care personally and challenge directly. We agree with the theory.

However, the practice is often a disaster.

We see leaders who skip the "care personally" part. They jump straight to the "challenge directly" part. They tear people down. They humiliate them in public. They offer brutal, unsolicited critiques. And when the recipient feels hurt, the leader shrugs. "I am just being radically candid," they say.

This is false. This is laziness. This is aggression wrapped in a buzzword.

1. Earn the Right to Critique

You must earn the right to give hard feedback. You earn this by building trust. You earn this by showing you care about the person's success. If you have zero relationship with someone, your "radical candor" will feel like an attack. Because it is an attack.

We prioritize "High Care" first. We support our team. We listen. We help them grow. Only then do we offer the "High Challenge." Because they know we are on their side, they accept the feedback. They know it comes from a place of support, not judgment.

2. The "Obnoxious Aggression" Trap

Kim Scott, the author of Radical Candor, calls this "Obnoxious Aggression." It is when you challenge directly but fail to care personally. This is the default mode for many bad bosses. They think being a leader means being "tough." They think fear drives performance.

We reject this. Fear kills creativity. Fear kills innovation. People who are afraid to make mistakes will cease to take risks. They will hide their errors. They will do the bare minimum to survive.